I have been feeling really weird this whole week. I've been looking for a job and I actually applied for eight jobs in two days. And the scary part is that two of those would be perfect for me. Plus I really want one of those jobs, unlike most of the positions I applied for that would be ok, but nothing special. One of them is for an international school where English is the only teaching language and the other has a special English-only class. Plus the latter would allow me to teach English literature as well and I'd love that. But I have no idea what my actual chances are... They might already have someone picked or there could be people more experienced and better qualified than me. I have just been feeling so anxious ever since I applied because I really want a cool job but then again, I'm afraid they might not even consider me. So much is riding on my getting a more permanent job. I have to move out of this flat by the end of July and if I don't know where I'm going to be working, then I don't know where to move. Plus I've been planning on getting a puppy this summer and then raising him to be a search and rescue dog, but if I don't have a place to live, I can't bloody well get a puppy either. I hate this uncertainty and I have no idea what to do about it. I have too much going inside my head and it feels like this:
I just want to start making plans for more than a year.